If you’re looking at this page, I love you. Basically. This is my seeeeeeeecret tumblr, and I haven’t used it in a while and I feel like posting. Hm, I’m trying to change up the Wednesday video mails, because I’m pretty sure you’re all tired of my blabbering.

Kat: Basically, you’re my partner in crime for EVERYTHING. I always know you’re a phone call away, drunk or sober, and either way, we still have great conversations. I don’t think you realize just how much of a best friend you are to me. Not like THE best friend, but like a best friend. I know the position of ‘best friend’ is already taken. I love you anyways. HAHA.

Timirose: Timaaaay, timaay timaay timaaay ! This past like, month or two, we’ve gotten so close ! I love all of our deep conversations, and sorry that I can’t give much advice on like, ANYTHING, but you know I’m always here if you need someone to listen. Hope you have fun in Socal, in a WEEK, we are going to hang out.

Vobot: Vooooo ! I don’t know if you know this, but you have the super power to hold down a conversation. You like all sorts of things and you have a super exciting life. HOW DO YOU DO IT ?! You must teach me. Maybe it’s in the Canada water or something that makes people super cool.

Fiona: Fionaaaaa ! I miss you. You are like, the sweetest person ever. I love love love talking to you about guys. You always know what to say to help me out. Please please come on tokbox more often. I miss you so much ! Hahah. AND you finally got your adapter too !

Jamila: Oh Jamila. I have honestly missed you a lot. I can’t believe I haven’t met you yet, you live in norcal and are the closest to my age. Why are we not closer, yenno ? Hahaha. Anyways, I miss you, and go on tokbox more, at the right times. HAHAHAH.

GOOEY!: We became friends on June 12. Why do I know this ? Because I checked twitter. How did twitter tell me this ? Because I looked up that day when we had the joke battle. Now,we talk consistently throughout the day about like, nothing, and in a month and 10 days, you became like my brother. Except, I tell you more then my brother, and I like you more then my brother.

Richard: I still remember the day that we were talking and you tried to guess the name of the guy I liked. You should try that game now, because now it’s a totally different name. Just saying. AHHAHA. I don’t like how the only way of contacting you these days is through blogtv. Makes me so saad. I MISS YOU DEARLY

Alan: Alaaaan, I hope you’re having fun on your vacation ! Your pictures are REALLY amazing, everytime you post one on tumblr, I grab my camera and go outside. Too bad I’m still a noob. I’m still a noob at having nice teeth too. HAHAHA. Hope to hear about your vacation soooon !

JR: I’m gonna be in your street team. I really really am. HAHAHAHA. I hope you’re doing well in Alaska. Surprisingly, I miss waking up for like, 2 missed calls from you that you send at like, 4AM. Actually, I just miss calls from you, a lot.

PEEEJ: Peeejaaaay ! You remind me a lot of my cousin. He goes away for a long time because of work, but everytime he comes back, it’s like he never left ! Like, we could have conversations for daaays. You’re like that. buut, I don’t like how you go MIA for so long. ;[

Vince: Hello Mr. Jonas. You’re like Richard. The only times I talk to you these days are on blog. Sucks you can’t go to FAP, but have fun at that one thing with all the dance crews ! Oh, goodluck with that one friend who is always in your broadcast, he seems like a dickrider anyways. AHHAHA

Michael: Hmmm, we got a lot closer recently ! Thank you for always leaving me IM’s even when you know I’m sleeping or away. They are always wonderful. Hahaha. You should get on more so we can box and pop again with your ‘BOODING !’ noises. HAAHHA.

Prettttty much, I miss you all dearly. and I LOOOOOVE YOUUUUU ALLLL

Isn’t it funny how the word “Love” is being thrown around as often as “Hellos”. It’s meaning has slowly been dwindled down into a simple greeting. Almost absolutely 0 depth. The meaning to one is different to another. “Love” can tear a world apart. “Love” can keep you sleepless for hours. “Love” can leave you staring at a computer screen, waiting for someone to sign on. “Love” causes the endless backspaces on a text/IM/blog, thinking exactly what to say. “Love” keeps you checking your phone endless times. Simple advice; Keep your love guarded while keeping your eye out for those who are, and always will be, there for you. Understand your own heart before pursuing another. No matter how strong a heart gets, no matter how much a heart grows, a simple misuse of the word love could shatter such a fragile thing to pieces, but once you find a real love… that’s a completely different story.

It’s about time I’ve gotten a bit of privacy. Privacy on the internet, huh, what a joke. This is..my diary. I won’t care who reads this, I won’t care who is judging this. These are my thoughts, do with this as you will. My first tumblr did not work out, at all. It’s strange actually. You see, I was perfectly content with people,who don’t know me too personally, following me. They had no previous knowledge of my past, they had no way of seeing the mistakes I’ve made that haunt me today, they had no way of hearing the things that others say about me, causing them to twist their judgement and impressions about me. It’s not like I’m lying to them about who I am, it was a fresh start and a good release. Things changed. Friends who I rarely have conversations with had access to my personal thoughts and emotions. People who I only see in the halls can see my dreams and wishes. People who I only know because they are in my school yearbook could see my fears and failures. That scared me. I feared it would change their old opinions about me. Scared that they could use it against me. Scared something would get around. I needed to be alone. This is my escape. It’s where my mind runs free. It’s where a feel…safe.